Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
