i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
