Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
