I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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