Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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