My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
