Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
