I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
