best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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