dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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