i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Bring me that man meat
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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