I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
