Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize