also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Randomize
