How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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