I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
