i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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