Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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