At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
