I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
