She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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