i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
