Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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