For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
