East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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