you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
