i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
