I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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