i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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