i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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