Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
