The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
