bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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