If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
