I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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