super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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