if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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