I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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