I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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