I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
