remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
