I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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