I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
