Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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