i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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