to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
