You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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