If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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