he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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