Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
