Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
