I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
