And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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