she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
my being single is dangerous.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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