His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
