is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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