Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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