I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
