my room smells like sperm. sweet.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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