He uses pillows to masturbate.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
