You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
